grown man crying divorce

Dealing with Divorce: Grown Men Call Me To Cry

Divorce is tough. Think about it:

What if…

… you fell in love with someone?

… married that someone?

… bought a house together?

… raised a family together?

… and spent years together?

And then, what if…

… that person cheated on you?

… and you found out?

What would you do? How would you feel? Who could you talk to?

I’m a private investigator and grown men (and women) call me to help them solve their domestic problems. They believe their spouses have been unfaithful, and they need answers. There was no one else to talk to, so they call me…

… and cry.

Divorce is emotional, and my clients get a chance to talk to someone who’ll listen to them, often for the first time. That’s how I help: I listen empathetically. I’m half therapist, half monk.

What’s the simple prompt that elicits that response?

“Tell me your story.”

That’s it.

They’ll start off strong, but get unsettled. They’ll attempt to gather themselves with a deep breath, voice trembling, but even over the phone, you can hear the tears falling.

After I listen deeply, my next questions will be:

“What solution would you like to see?”

“Would you like to get back together?”

“Have a happy ending? Or a bad ending?”

“Do you want custody of your children?”

I’ve heard the answers many times before. Not only that: I understand the divorce dynamic, the emotions involved, how it affects the couple’s mental health and the kids.

My parents divorced when I was a teenager, so I get it. It’s tough. Divorce is something we’ve all been through. If not, we know someone who has.

Many times, husbands and wives don’t need my help. They just need my advice.

Most troubled marriages have one glaring problem: a lack of communication. If you suspect your spouse is cheating and you muster the courage to talk to them and ask them about it point-blank, they might actually confess.

It has worked. You’d be surprised.

Other times, I need to get involved. You don’t want that. I don’t want that.

Despite the countless reasons to hiring a private investigator, we only get involved when absolutely necessary.

But until then, I’m listening.

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